10 Kid-Friendly Halloween Trick-Or-Treat Jokes

Looking for kid-friendly, clean jokes for my child to tell on Halloween while Trick-Or-Treating.

Traditionally, when a child goes door-to-door trick-or-treating, they are to do a trick or tell a joke before they are handed the candy or "treat."  Today, there are parties arranged to keep children off of the streets for their safety.  And, the children who do go trick-or-treating aren't even typically required to tell a joke for the treat.  But, in keeping with tradition, here are ten kid-friendly jokes your child can tell to earn his or her treat handed out at each house's door.

All of the jokes on the list are kid-friendly and do not involve any kind of bathroom humor or grotesque topics.  They are safe to tell whether a child answers the door or if grandma answers the door.  They are even safe to tell if a pastor opens the door.  These are just plain, cute kid-friendly funny jokes.  Who knows, your child might even come home with extra candy for their creative efforts.

  1. When does a mouse need an umbrella? . . . . . . . When it's raining cats and dogs!
  2. Knock Knock - Whose There? - Police - Police who? . . . . . . . . Puh-leasssse give me some candy!
  3. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? . . . . . . . Because he wanted cold, hard cash!
  4. If it were possible to cut the ocean or river in half, how would you do it? . . . . . . . With a sea saw!
  5. What do you call an elephant with a banana in his ear? . . . . . . You can call him anything you want because he can't hear you!
  6. How did the cowboy ride into a town on Friday, stay three nights and ride out again on Friday? . . . . . . . . . The horse he was riding on was named Friday!
  7. Mommy mouse was getting food in the kitchen of a house with her little baby mouse.  Suddenly a cat pounced in and snatched her little baby up.  Mommy mouse ran for the mouse hole, but it was becoming more and more obvious that she was not going to make it in alive without being snatched by the cat as well.  Suddenly, she whipped around and shouted "Bark!  Bark!"  At that, the cat skidded to a halt and dropped her little baby mouse and ran away.  Mommy mouse turned to her little baby and said, "See the importance of learning a foreign language?!"
  8. What did the Teddy Bear say when he was offered dessert? . . . . . . . . . No thanks, I'm stuffed!
  9. What do millimeters, centimeters and inches follow? . . . . . . . . . The ruler!
  10. What is small, cute, dressed in a costume and very hungry for candy? . . . . . . . Me - Trick-Or-Treat!

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